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Surrender To Love

Fear has been ever present in my life this week.
I no longer choose to run from it.
Can I embrace the fear through my practice of surrender?


Everyday, I sit in silence and practice surrender, letting go.
I practice surrendering to fear.
Fear that I will not have enough.
Fear that I will not Be or Do enough.
Fear of life
There are a million fears
which live in the mind of humanity.


Surrendering to fear is letting myself
become one with it.
I want to become so fully intimate with fear
that I know it as myself
and it becomes part of me,
not outside of myself.


Everyday, I sit in silence and practice
surrendering to fear.
Because living in fear is living my death.
Meeting death or change or anything fearful
as a friend is living my life.
Surrendering to fear means releasing drama,
releasing attachment.


It means clearing the space for receiving
all the gifts God offers to me.
It means being fully awake and present
to receive the gifts.
I do not meet my death with fear.
I do not meet my life with fear.


Until last week when everything in my life
seemed to fall apart at once, I thought… "I am really doing well
on the spiritual path. I am moving closer to Heaven every day.
I am doing my daily practices. I am Being Lovingly Present.
I am seeing the Divine in all Beings."
Yet I did not feel peaceful all the time.


The seductiveness of spiritual arrogance.
I thought I was so close to God.
Just a little closer and I'd be There. With God. So Holy.
I'd be beyond having to work my stuff anymore.


* * * * * * * * * * * * *


Oh, to be Divine in human form is challenging!
Listening to my Soul, I now know that
being fully present in every moment
means I have the choice
of Heaven or hell, life or fear or death
in every moment.


How I meet the challenges that come to me
is the Heaven I create.
I create it for myself every day if I choose.


Heaven is not an end.
It is the process.
I create Heaven for myself everyday
with my attention and intention
on Being the Bodhisattva.
The Bodhisattva is one who, out of compassion,
devotes himself/herself to serve humanity.
In the Heart, in Consciousness, the Bodhisattva holds the polarities
of life as one and the same, in neutrality.


In my practice of Being a Bodhisattva,
I stand in this place of neutrality.
I raise up all energies into the Impersonal.
I am not attached.
I am not reactive.
I am simply present in each moment.
Everything flows through me
I experience the sweet ease of a
lifestream surrendered.
My little will surrendered to God Will.
Each moment is surrendered to the next.
I am no longer living from my ego and its
control, manipulation, protection, defense,
judgement and criticism.


In this way, I can be open to receive
all the gifts, the Grace, that has been offered to me
and allow the Love to flow through me
to all God Consciousness.
Joy. Joy. Joy.


In the ever present reality of being human,
Fear and pain came pulling steadily at the strings
of my emotional body last week.
Things felt like they were falling apart.
Can I create my Heaven from this as well?


I loved a man.
I could not have him.
I wanted him.
I thought, "There will never be another
whom I Love so much and to whom
I feel so connected."
Tears flowed….
Like an endless river.
I felt lost momentarily in my feelings of grief.


Can I release my addiction to Romantic Longing?
Oh, I thought, this is The One I have waited for all my life.
My Divine Lover.
But further clarity came
Is this Divine Love, or Codependent Love?
Divine Love knows no attachment. It knows only Love.
Codependent Love's hallmark is attachment.
Oh, the seductiveness of Romantic Longing.
It is so ingrained in humanity.
The possibility of being saved or of saving another.
It allows us to shift the focus from taking responsibility for our own
lives to another.
We can totally immerse ourselves in drama of the other.


As a Bodhisattva, can I raise this Romantic Longing up
for myself and for all humanity?
Is this my piece of The Work for humanity?
Can I bring full Consciousness to my desire for romantic love?
Can I embrace my feelings of sadness,
anger, grief?
I trust myself and I trust God.
With God's help I know I can.


* * * * * * * * * * * * *


Dear God,
Please grant me the Grace
of your Divine Presence within me
to assist me in flowing with this process impeccably.


Dear God,
Please hear my prayer.
Let me run to the pain and fear, not away from it.
Help me to become friends with my pain
and become more compassionate toward myself and others.


Dear God,
Please help me accept wholeheartedly
That I am both Strong and Weak,
Both Courageous and Fearful,
Impeccable and Flawed.
I am all of it.
Only then can I come to a place of Truth
and Compassion within myself.


Dear God,
Please help me remember
that I am precious beyond measure.


Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.



For further reading on a particular subject found in this writing, please click on a topic heading below:

Change/Transformation Consciousness
God Heart
Love Negative Feelings
Polarities Positive Feelings
Soul/Being Surrender


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