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Inspiration for Starting and Continuing the Next Focus in Divine Consciousness Sheets - # 5

The "Next Focus Sheets" were like a tornado, an earthquake, a flash flood, and a wildfire.

My negative patterns were ripped apart by a tornado. My beliefs crumbled to pieces in an earthquake. My self-judgment and self-abuse were washed away by a flash flood. My attachments were burnt to ashes by a wildfire.

I'd say that, "I got caught in the storm". But I'd add that I came out of it completely transformed, because…

…because in the middle of the storm something happened. I wanted the storm to cease immediately. I had had enough. I wanted to run away. I was scared of and hated what I was beginning to feel. I was horrified at what I was beginning to see. I closed my eyes. I covered my ears. I even shut my Heart. I began to rage. I raged until I was completely exhausted. Tears started welling up and rolling down my cheeks. My screaming was the tornado. My raging was the earthquake. My tears were the flash flood. My fury was the wildfire. They wiped out all the defenses I had built up over the years. My resistance to facing the Truth about myself. I was beginning to feel my negative feelings.

I surrendered completely. When I opened my eyes and uncovered my ears, everything had become calm and serene around me and within me. The tornado, the earthquake, the flash flood, and the wildfire had passed. There, right in front of me, stood my shadow. I recognized it because it held something that was very familiar to me. It was the "wounded child" of my childhood. It was me crying out to be heard and loved. To my greatest astonishment, my Heart flew open to it instantly. My shadow had been the denied, unwanted, shameful, horrific, dark part of myself which I had obstinately disowned all my life.

Through the "Next Focus Sheets" Process, I reconnected with this abandoned and suffering part of myself. As I embraced it and lovingly reclaimed it as an integral part of my Consciousness, I felt an exhilarating sense of wholeness. Yes, I was whole again. I was embodying consciously all the polarities of myself without any judgment or condition. How could I reach the heights of love and joy if I denied the depths of fear and rage?

I AM 50 YEARS OLD AND THIS WAS THE MOST SELF-LOVING EXPERIENCE THAT EVER HAPPENED IN MY LIFE. My life has changed forever. I am thinking things I never thought before. I am saying things I never said before. I am doing things I never did before. I am loving myself in ways I never had before. As a result, I love others in ways I never had before.

I am immensely grateful to the Teacher who gave me this opportunity. I am joyfully grateful to myself for having taken it.


Thank You!

 

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