Thoughts On Triangulation
(V = Victim; P = Persecutor; S = Savior)
Question: Who was the Savior?
I have a friend who holds the Bond of Confidentiality as sacred. I broke that bond. When we spoke about the Bond being broken, she spoke strongly to me about her upset over my betrayal. I learned how sacred her confidences were to her. I found anew that she expected me to honor her sharing as something for my ears only. It was her desire to remain anonymous and private. I destroyed that intention with my betrayal. I discovered several things about myself I did not wish to face. I denied, until confronted with my betrayal, that this was an important issue. My ego said, "Everyone does it." "My friend will never find out I betrayed our Bond of Confidentiality." "She'll just have to realize I'm human and meant no harm."
When my ego stopped justifying my actions, I met and felt Shame for the first time in my adult life. I faced a possible rift in our friendship. I conjured up a life without her. What I felt was remorse and a renewal of the certainty I was unworthy. Unworthy to be trusted. Unworthy to trust myself. Unworthy to be her friend. I deeply questioned my value as a human being. My Shame was palpable. (I was Victim and Persecutor simultaneously.)
Time now for the Savior to step in. I could say the Savior was the same friend I victimized. In reality it was my accepting the vision her Soul gave her of the bigger picture -- what really was going on here. What was really going on was a Divine Set-Up. The Divine Set-Up: I would betray her confidence so I could learn a lesson about friendship and responsibility of that friendship. Also, to remember Everything Is God and Everything Is Sacred. This now includes my Bond of Confidentiality with everyone in my world.
I acknowledge my part in the drama. I fully feel and own my feelings. I relate to a time I felt Shame as a child. That early experience was so traumatic. I buried my Shame.
Only now, in my quest to Awaken,
do I have the tools to change my patterning. I learned:
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