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Betraying The Bond Of Confidentiality:
Thoughts On Triangulation

(V = Victim; P = Persecutor; S = Savior)

Triangulation Diagram


Question: Who was the Savior?
Not knowing the long story (the drama), what would you answer?

I have a friend who holds the Bond of Confidentiality as sacred. I broke that bond. When we spoke about the Bond being broken, she spoke strongly to me about her upset over my betrayal. I learned how sacred her confidences were to her. I found anew that she expected me to honor her sharing as something for my ears only. It was her desire to remain anonymous and private. I destroyed that intention with my betrayal. I discovered several things about myself I did not wish to face. I denied, until confronted with my betrayal, that this was an important issue. My ego said, "Everyone does it." "My friend will never find out I betrayed our Bond of Confidentiality." "She'll just have to realize I'm human and meant no harm."

When my ego stopped justifying my actions, I met and felt Shame for the first time in my adult life. I faced a possible rift in our friendship. I conjured up a life without her. What I felt was remorse and a renewal of the certainty I was unworthy. Unworthy to be trusted. Unworthy to trust myself. Unworthy to be her friend. I deeply questioned my value as a human being. My Shame was palpable. (I was Victim and Persecutor simultaneously.)

Time now for the Savior to step in. I could say the Savior was the same friend I victimized. In reality it was my accepting the vision her Soul gave her of the bigger picture -- what really was going on here. What was really going on was a Divine Set-Up. The Divine Set-Up: I would betray her confidence so I could learn a lesson about friendship and responsibility of that friendship. Also, to remember Everything Is God and Everything Is Sacred. This now includes my Bond of Confidentiality with everyone in my world.

I acknowledge my part in the drama. I fully feel and own my feelings. I relate to a time I felt Shame as a child. That early experience was so traumatic. I buried my Shame.

Only now, in my quest to Awaken, do I have the tools to change my patterning. I learned:
to name the feeling
to decide if I want to keep or change the feeling
to feel the feeling
to visualize the feeling moving into my Heart
to embrace that feeling in my Heart
to watch the feeling go from the present vibration to a higher vibration in an upward spiraling pattern until I see it as Light/Love
that change will occur as I practice holding this new vibration of Love.

(This is an abbreviated form of "Steps to Change a Negative Feeling to Love")

Triangulation Diagram

My Soul prepared this exact moment for me to learn about the responsibility of friendship, recognizing denial, and feeling Shame. I decided I no longer wished to continue in my old patterning taught me by my Mom and Dad (who learned it from their Moms and Dads). I found I was able to break the triangulation and hold the situation and myself in neutrality. I found freedom.


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Awakening Divine Set-Up
Ego Love
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