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Inspiration for Starting and Continuing the Next Focus in Divine Consciousness Sheets - # 6

What inspired me to do the Next Focus in Divine Consciousness Sheets? I knew it would help me Change. I am committed to Change. Committed to Awakening. I knew there was more to my life than my existence as ego. I knew that I could live in joy, peace, and Love if I lived fully in the Truth of who I am. In both my Divinity and my humanity. I trusted that doing these sheets, no matter what it took, would assist me in Awakening.

Like the others in my group, I had done some work on my "mommy-daddy stuff". This involved seeing the negative love patterns I had learned from my parents and realizing that I am not these patterns. This was the first step in shifting my perception of self from a totally egoic base. However, there were still pieces missing. I did not change fully, although I had greater knowledge of the causes of the patterns that had run me for so long. I did not look at the "payoffs" for continuing to let ego run me. I did not look at the deeper patterns in my family that caused me to still be triggered repeatedly into old behaviors. I did not look at any Bigger Picture of what was really going on for me at Soul level.

The Next Focus in Divine Consciousness Sheets were presented, I believe, to help us get to the next level. They were extremely comprehensive. They caused me to look at EVERYTHING running me and why. From the "payoff" to maintaining old behaviors, to the psychological profile of my family patterns, to naming and feeling the feelings at the egoic level (which I had previously been unwilling to do), to looking at the Soul perspective for why I created a particular situation for myself. The Sheets helped me see that I am responsible for my life at every level. This was scary initially, but true. I want Truth.

What kept me going on the Sheets, (20 pages, 30 pages) and wanting to do even more was a strong desire to exorcise and embrace my shadow. I wanted to do WHATEVER IT TAKES TO BE WHOLE. I would go deeper and deeper into my resistance. I knew that I had to go as deeply as I could, or I would never be Free. I learned that I cannot hide from my shadow. I learned that I can embrace both my light and my shadow. This can bring my Freedom. To go down into the Rage was the most frightening part. But after doing the Sheets, I no longer had fear. Each Sheet peeled off a layer. Once I accepted that I had been living in the Big Lie, once I accepted that there could be a God or no God, I was able to take more and more responsibility for living in the Truth of myself as God. Going deeply into the polarity of Self-Hatred vs. Self-Love, I was able to come to a place of embracing both polarities as parts of myself. Seeing Self-Doubt as a robber of the goldmine of Love within me, I developed great compassion and nonjudgement for myself which continues to this day.

What has happened to me as a result of doing the Next Focus Sheets? I have developed Self-Love, which I never knew before. I trust and reference my Soul much more. Love has inspired me. I write poetry which flows through me from my Soul. I never thought I could write. I have connected with my mystical nature, which I had never fully known before. This has changed my Life. I live at a much more passionate level every day. I am in Love. In a state of Love much of the time now. I live much more at the impersonal level, which has changed my life experience tremendously. I have surrendered my lifestream to God, which I am.

I look at all aspects of my life. I bring everything, EVERYTHING, to Consciousness. I have been able to change because I can now CHOOSE CONSCIOUSLY if I want to respond from Truth or Lie, Love or Fear, Feelings of Separation or Oneness. Or if I choose to stand as the Watcher/Soul and reference my Soul unceasingly. I live in union and communion with my Soul, with God which I am, seeing the God Presence in every Being on a much more continuous basis. This is what I have always wanted. I live in much greater joy and peace because I feel Free to be who I am. Nothing is hidden any longer. I wish you steadfastness on your journey. If you stay with it and fearlessly look at all aspects of yourself, you too can experience the peace, Love, joy, and freedom that are the Truth of who you are.


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