1. |
Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. |
2. |
You know stuff about tanks. |
3. |
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. |
4. |
You can open all your own jars. |
5. |
Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind. |
6. |
You can go to the bathroom without a support
group. |
7. |
You don't have to learn to spell a new last name. |
8. |
You can leave the motel bed unmade. |
9. |
You can kill your own food. |
10. |
You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. |
11. |
Wedding plans take care of themselves. |
12. |
If someone forgets to invite you to something,
he or she can still
be your friend. |
13. |
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. |
14. |
If you are 35 and single, nobody notices. |
15. |
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. |
16. |
You don't have to clean your apartment if the
meter reader is coming. |
17. |
Car mechanics tell you the truth. |
18. |
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy
for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me." |
19. |
Same work...more pay. |
20. |
Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. |
21. |
Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks. |
22. |
You don't mooch off other's desserts. |
23. |
You can drop by to see a friend without having
to bring a little gift. |
24. |
If another guy shows up at the party in the same
outfit, you just
might become lifelong friends. |
25. |
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with:
"So, notice
anything different?" |
26. |
You are not expected to know the names of more
than five colors. |
27. |
You don't have to stop and think of which way
to turn a nut on a bolt. |
28. |
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. |
29. |
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. |
30. |
You don't have to shave below your neck. |
31. |
Your belly usually hides your big hips. |
32. |
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color,
all seasons. |
33. |
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. |
34. |
You have freedom of choice concerning growing
a mustache. |
35. |
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25
relatives on December 24th, in 45 minutes. |