I have watched many people begin their Awakening process. Without fail, they come to me and say, "I am falling apart; my life is falling apart; my relationships are falling apart. For every step forward, I feel I'm taking two steps backward. This can't be Awakening!" The truth is if this were not happening the individual would not be Awakening.

Awakening has many aspects. In the beginning of the process, "falling apart" is an essential part. It means the individual is moving out of the grasp of the ego. Moving out of judgment/criticism, control/manipulation, protection/defense. Moving out of fear and into Consciousness. Consciousness is about being the Watcher of one's life while continuing to live one's life. The ego does not watch anything. It is fully absorbed in the drama it creates. Ego runs our lives through our negative childhood patterning, our unfinished mommy/daddy business. Awakening means that we are no longer willing to have these patterns run our lives. We bring our Consciousness to these patterns. We name them. We change them. We transform ourselves through our Consciousness, which is Love. The Love is more powerful than our negative patterns. At first, this does not seem to be true. The negative patterns are very strong and are usually unconscious. Consciousness/Love brings these negative patterns to our attention, repeatedly, until the Love is stronger than the negative pattern. Then the pattern begins to change. Because it is deeply seeded in our ego identity, we must be relentless in bringing our Love to the pattern for transformation to occur. Thus, one literally and figuratively must "fall apart" in order to Awaken.

Many begin the Awakening process only to find that their losing control/falling apart is too much to bear. They are unable to move out of the comfort zone of their ego, their negative patterning, their drama. And that's all right. What this means is they have a Soul Agreement not to Awaken at this time. Rather, they go through a period of testing the waters to see if Awakening is part of their Soul Agreement at this time. This does not mean that later in life they may not return to the process and begin again. On the contrary, their Soul will bring them many opportunities to begin again. This is not about failure. This is about readiness. Awakening involves all four of the lower bodies: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. All four bodies must be ready to change, not just one or two. Bringing Consciousness/Love to all four bodies is a full-time job that is added to whatever an individual's life looks like. Time and space must be willingly created for the Awakening process. The energy given to the drama must now be redirected toward Awakening. This is no easy task. It means reprioritizing every aspect of one's life. It takes commitment, discipline, surrender, faith, trust, hope, courage, Love, and a sense of humor. If one cannot laugh at oneself, one cannot fully Awaken.

So, if you feel you are falling apart, your life is falling apart, your relationships are falling apart…Rejoice And Be Glad! This means you have a Soul Agreement to at least look at Awakening as an option in this embodiment. If you are not ready at this time you are free to choose again. Please remember, this will not be your last opportunity. Your Soul, ever patient, will wait for the next moment when you are ready to try the process again, again, and again, if necessary. You see, Awakening can begin in the wink of an eye. The process of Awakening takes time and space and enough Self-Love to keep on keeping on, no matter what it looks like out there or inside yourself.

I honor you for having read this piece. It means you are on the cusp of great change. You may change now or you may change later. The choice is up to you, Beloved. I celebrate your transformation, the potential of your Awakening. I celebrate you.

Back to Prose

HOME