Where does punishment come from? Why would any human being believe that they deserve punishment or must punish another? One has only to go back to who were the earliest "Gods" in one's life. The Parents. The Mother and the Father. During the youngest and most vulnerable years of being a child, they were the "Gods". Their word was "the law": the constant negative admonitions. This is right, that is wrong. This is good, that is bad. OK to do this, NOT OK to do that. Do not ask why, it is that way because it is. Just because I/we say so. Often these negative admonitions were accompanied by anger, rage, shame, blame, and a host of other negative emotions that imprinted the child at a very early age. Often the child was made to feel wrong in many different ways. As the child grew into adulthood, they carried all the "baggage" of the sum total of all the negative admonitions, judgments, and criticisms that came from the parents, the earliest "Gods".
One was not good enough unless one was perfect. There was a level of perfectionism expected of the child by the parents. A standard the child could never live up to. Of course, part of what made it so difficult was the lack of consistency in the parents' method of madness. The child learned to constantly fear punishment for those things that were not accomplished in the way the parents expected. Remember that one? Oh, the pain of not being able to meet the expectations of the Parent, "God incarnate". Not feeling worthy. Not feeling loved. Feeling abandoned by those who were our first "Gods". At some point, there is birthed within the child an actual wanting to be punished, just to be recognized. Just to have some interaction with those "Gods" of the childhood, even if it was in the form of negative love. It was better than nothing. For nothing was the deep pain of abandonment. Every child's worst fear was being abandoned by their "God's", the Mother and the Father. To be utterly alone and vulnerable, without the resources to take care of even basic needs.
The parents brought with them all of their baggage, as well. That which they had learned from their own parents. Their own conditioning was passed down to them from many generations. They also thought their parents were "God". They had their own feelings of inadequacy, lack of self-worth, lack of self-love. Their own lack of wholeness. Their own pain. So comes forth their deep desire for their children to be perfect. A yearning for their own children to reach the perfection the parents themselves struggled with, and were not able to reach. The parents see "God" in the child's image, a success to make up for their own failure. A "God" who is perfect in every way and never makes mistakes, and expects the same of all of humanity. A "God" who was inflexible and unforgiving. A wrathful and punishing "God", who lives separately from humanity. Because the very idea of "God" living within the Heart of Hearts of humanity was unspeakable/unthinkable.
The Parents were NOT God. They were not perfect. They were all too human. None of them, not one, reached the perfection their own parents expected of them. Most important is to realize that every parent is guilty of this and there is no one to blame. Rather, there is the choice of feeling a deep and abiding Compassion and Love for the Self and the journey it has taken in its own quest for God. In its quest to be loved. To see and feel Love and Compassion for the parents, who were only the product of their own conditioning. To see the immortal patterns of Life which run us as human beings until we simply open our Heart to God. Who is always there in every moment.
How do you want God to look? Like the above scenario? Forever outside of you? Expecting Perfectionism, and then being angry, wrathful, and punishing when you fall short. That is one choice, but remember it is only a choice. There are other choices.
It is time to embark on a new way of perceiving God and Life. We have the freedom to choose the way we want God to look and be. I choose that God is a God that is full of Joy, Love, and Compassion. I choose that God lives in the Serene Center of my Being within my Heart always. God never abandons me or humanity, ever. Open your Heart to God. God does live in the Serene Center of our Being within the Hearts of each and every one of us. It is already accomplished: all you have to do is bring your full, unwavering Consciousness to God who resides within. Full with Love, Joy, and Compassion.
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