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I Am Afraid To Stand In The Truth Of My Being, 24 Hours A Day

Next Focus in Divine Consciousness

 

1.) THE TEACHING:

Always speak the Truth of your Heart.

 

2.) THE DIVINE SET-UP:

I am afraid to stand in the Truth of my Being, 24 hours a day.

 

3.) THE "DRAMA" AS IT APPLIES TO THE SET-UP:

I feel…
Ashamed Paralyzed Deceitful Guilty
Fearful Outraged Helpless Dishonored
Humiliated Abondoned Isolated Forsaken
Terrified Wretched Betrayed Enraged

 

4.) REALIZATIONS:
a.) Ego Perspective:
1.) Physical Body:
a.) Overt Lies
1.) In my physical body the overt lie is that I am ashamed of my physical body.
2.) In my physical body the overt lie is that I take my anger out on my physical body.
3.) In my physical body the overt lie is that I act like I love sex in order to be loved.
4.) In my physical body the overt lie is I need to look physically attractive to bolster my self-worth and cover my shame.
5.) In my physical body the overt lie is I eat sweets compulsively to satisfy my need for Love.
6.) In my physical body the overt lie is I need to present a strong physical body to control my world.
7.) In my physical body the overt lie is that I enjoy abusing my body.
8.) In my physical body the overt lie is I use physical exhaustion as an exit, a way out.
9.) In my physical body the overt lie is I use illness to gain sympathy.
10.) In my physical body the overt lie is I abuse my physical body by eating poorly (eating junk foods) as a substitute for comfort.
11.) In my physical body the overt lie is if I stand straight and tall no one will know that I am weak, afraid, and ashamed.
12.) In my physical body the overt lie is if I use a lot of makeup, no one will notice that I am old and ugly.
1.) Physical Body (Con't.):
b.) Covert Lies
1.) In my physical body the covert lie is I hate feeling the heaviness of my physical body.
2.) In my physical body the covert lie is I feel fat all of the time in my physical body.
3.) In my physical body the covert lie is I do not love or respect my physical body.
4.) In my physical body the covert lie is I do not feel connected to my physical body.
5.) In my physical body the covert lie is I feel useless and unworthy when I am physically tired.
6.) In my physical body the covert lie is I cover my physical body because I am ashamed of it/me.
7.) In my physical body the covert lie is I am afraid of establishing a physical connection with a male/female because I am afraid of failure, of being hurt, of hurting them, or of hurting me.
8.) In my physical body the covert lie is I can hide my fear and shame in my physical body and no one will know I am wounded, shamed, and abused.
9.) In my physical body the covert lie is I that hide my sexuality to avoid humiliation and to appear in control.
10.) In my physical body the covert lie is that I need to hide how much I hate my body.
11.) In my physical body the covert lie is that I am uncomfortable in my skin.
12.) In my physical body the covert lie is that I do not know how to relax or create peace in my body.
2.) Emotional Body:
a.) Overt Lies
1.) In my emotional body the overt lie is it is not OK to express emotions.
2.) In my emotional body the overt lie is I do not feel safe showing my true feelings.
3.) In my emotional body the overt lie is if I show my true feelings I will not be loved.
4.) In my emotional body the overt lie is that my feelings must be like everyone else's, or I am wrong. I fear I will lose my friends.
5.) In my emotional body the overt lie is that I need to act like I love sex in order to be loved.
6.) In my emotional body the overt lie is that I have no rage.
7.) In my emotional body the overt lie is that I need to be dramatic to be noticed.
8.) In my emotional body the overt lie is that others are interested in my true feelings.
9.) In my emotional body the overt lie is I will be emotionally hurt and embarrassed if I show my true feelings.
10.) In my emotional body the overt lie is that separating myself from others will protect me from emotional pain and sadness.
11.) In my emotional body the overt lie is that I avoid sex because I am not a sexual being.
12.) In my emotional body the overt lie is that I am afraid of my emotions.
2.) Emotional Body (Con't.):
b.) Covert Lies
1.) In my emotional body the covert lie is my feelings are lies.
2.) In my emotional body the covert lie is that I feel choked and strangled by my feelings.
3.) In my emotional body the covert lie is that if I show my true feelings I will be isolated and alone.
4.) In my emotional body the covert lie is that I only have to feel my "good" feelings.
5.) In my emotional body the covert lie is my feelings are wrong.
6.) In my emotional body the covert lie is my feelings are stronger than I am.
7.) In my emotional body the covert lie is I must reject my feelings before someone else judges me for having them.
8.) In my emotional body the covert lie is I must suppress my feelings, so I can reason.
9.) In my emotional body the covert lie is I must smother my feelings and let them out a little at a time, so that I can be in control.
10.) In my emotional body the covert lie is I cannot honestly admit my true feelings even to myself.
11.) In my emotional body the covert lie is everything is fine.
12.) In my emotional body the covert lie is that someone else will fill my emotional needs.
3.) Mental Body:
a.) Overt Lies
1.) In my mental body the overt lie is that I must show how smart I am in order to have power over others.
2.) In my mental body the overt lie is I must show how smart I am to be loved.
3.) In my mental body the overt lie is I feel my self-worth only when I connect mentally with other people.
4.) In my mental body the overt lie is if I show my parents how smart I am they will love me.
5.) In my mental body the overt lie is if I am smarter than my siblings, my parents will love me more.
6.) In my mental body the overt lie is if I am smarter than my spouse, then I can control him/her.
7.) In my mental body the overt lie is if I am smarter than my children, I can make them do what I say.
8.) In my mental body the overt lie is that I have nothing interesting to say.
9.) In my mental body the overt lie is I can work endlessly in my head and still be efficient.
10.) In my mental body the overt lie is that I am superior to others.
11.) In my mental body the overt lie is that I have released my need to know.
12.) In my mental body the overt lie is that magical thinking works.
3.) Mental Body (Con't.):
b.) Covert Lies
1.) In my mental body the covert lie is that my mental body is the strongest of all my bodies.
2.) In my mental body the covert lie is my thoughts damn me.
3.) In my mental body the covert lie is that I am stupid.
4.) In my mental body the covert lie is I am the prisoner of my thoughts.
5.) In my mental body the covert lie is I use my mental ability to deny my feelings.
6.) In my mental body the covert lie is I use my mental ability to cut-off confrontations.
7.) In my mental body the covert lie is I can hide from the Truth of my Being by escaping into my mental fantasies.
8.) In my mental body the covert lie is that I can control life with the strength of my will power.
9.) In my mental body the covert lie is that I believe everything in my life is real and not illusion.
10.) In my mental body the covert lie is that all "knowing" comes from my brain and reason.
11.) In my mental body the covert lie is I can think my way past my fears.
12.) In my mental body the covert lie is I can think my way past sorrow.
4.) Spiritual Body:
a.) Overt Lies
1.) In my spiritual body the overt lie is I must pray on my knees, so others will think I am holy/spiritual.
2.) In my spiritual body the overt lie is I must speak to/of God, so others will think I have a connection with God.
3.) In my spiritual body the overt lie is portraying the image of spirituality will protect me.
4.) In my spiritual body the overt lie is that I am not spiritually arrogant.
5.) In my spiritual body the overt lie is that my spirituality is my sanctuary/my hiding place.
6.) In my spiritual body the overt lie is that spirituality is bullshit.
7.) In my spiritual body the overt lie is that I create suffering and pain so I can be a martyr.
8.) In my spiritual body the overt lie is that spirituality must look a certain way to be right.
9.) In my spiritual body the overt lie is that I am open to everyone's spiritual path.
10.) In my spiritual body the overt lie is if I pray and do good deeds on Earth, I will ascend to Heaven.
11.) In my spiritual body the overt lie is God can not breathe Life into me.
12.) In my spiritual body the overt lie is that God kills.
4.) Spiritual Body (Con't.):
b.) Covert Lies
1.) In my spiritual body the covert lie is I must pray in order to be forgiven.
2.) In my spiritual body the overt lie is if I can connect with God in the right way, He/She/It will protect me.
3.) In my spiritual body the covert lie is it is not OK to believe in God in my own way.
4.) In my spiritual body the covert lie is I am not one with God.
5.) In my spiritual body the covert lie is I do not have communion with my Soul.
6.) In my spiritual body the covert lie is that I must be illumined/enlightened to be loved.
7.) In my spiritual body the covert lie is that sex is irreverent.
8.) In my spiritual body the covert lie is that I don't deserve to trust my Soul.
9.) In my spiritual body the covert lie is that I would be happy living on a mountaintop and meditating.
10.) In my spiritual body the covert lie is that I would be spiritually connected if I follow the right guru.
11.) In my spiritual body the covert lie is that I will die and that is the end.
12.) In my spiritual body the covert lie is that I must be forgiven by a Higher Power that is outside of myself.

 

My Worst End Scenario:

I have formed an impenetrable barrier around my Truth. This icy, concrete shroud entombs me. Within this cold hard shell, I am separated from my Truth, from myself, from God, which I am. I believe all my lies; so too, I believe and live by the lies I have adopted from my church, parents, siblings, society, and the Collective Consciousness. I accept all these lies as the Truth of my Being. I never seek to reveal, disclose, or acknowledge my Truth to myself, others, or God. I fear punishment, abandonment, isolation, ruin, and physical/emotional/mental/spiritual death. I continue playing out my life as a weak, helpless, enraged victim. I live my death in this cold hard tomb, devoid of Love from others, from myself, from God. I live alone, and die alone. I hate myself to Death.

 

b.) Psychological Perspective:
1.) Who/What imprinted you? And How?
1.) My church imprinted me with the lie that I am a sinner and I will always sin, because I am human and alive. I am guilty by default.
2.) My church imprinted me with the lie that I must suffer.
3.) My church imprinted me with the lie that I cannot cleanse/forgive myself, only the church can.
4.) My church imprinted me with the lie that I must believe everything the church says.
5.) My siblings imprinted me with the lie that I should hate myself because everyone else does, even God.
6.) My mother imprinted me with the lie that I am not as good or worthy as her other children.
7.) My mother imprinted me with the lie that I must keep the family secrets.
8.) My mother imprinted me with the lie that I must be quiet.
9.) My father imprinted me with the lie that I must be afraid of the world.
10.) My family imprinted me with the lie that I must lie to protect myself.
11.) My family imprinted me with the lie that my true feelings can be/should be denied.
12.) My father imprinted me with the lie that there is no beauty in my inner Being.

2.) The Payoff. Name it.
Name the Negative Power that feeds the Payoff.
The Payoff I get from being afraid to stand in the Truth of my Being 24 hours a day is that I never have to acknowledge or take responsibility for who I truly am. I change my "Truth" to fit every situation. By my lies and self-deceit I attempt to gain favor, stay in good graces, manipulate, and control others' love for me. I am willing to devastate and destroy myself to receive and maintain love from others. The negative power behind these statements is my Rage, which is the addiction that runs my entire life.

3.) What I need to change… inside myself.
1.) I need to change the lie that I am unworthy into the Truth that I am worthy.
2.) I need to change the lie that I am physically ugly into the Truth that I am beautiful inside and out.
3.) I need to change the lie that I am a helpless victim into the Truth that I am able to make full, Conscious decisions for my highest good, in every moment.
4.) I need to change the lie that I am a worthless sinner into the Truth that I am whole and perfect and filled with God's Love.
5.) I need to change the lie that I must control and manipulate others into the Truth that I love myself and love others.
6.) I need to change the lie that I must suffer by manifesting physical/mental/emotional/spiritual pain to reach Enlightenment into the Truth that I am already there, at Soul level, 24 hours a day, unceasingly.
7.) I need to change the lie that I must experience suffering and pain in others into the Truth that I have compassion for the suffering and pain of others without bringing it into my physical body.
8.) I need to change the lie that I am not worthy of Love into the Truth that I am Love.
9.) I need to change the lie that I must be smart to be loved into the Truth that I love and accept myself just the way I am.
10.) I need to change the lie that I hate my physical body into the Truth that I love and accept my physical body just the way it is.
11.) I need to change the lie that my compulsions and depressions are part of my nature and are unchangeable into the Truth that in every moment I can choose Self-Love over Self-Destruction.
12.) I need to change the lie that I must not feel my true feelings into the Truth that my true feelings reflect the Truth of My Being.

4.) My Unfinished Mommy/Daddy Business:
1.) Like my mother I believe the lie that I need to lie to protect myself.
2.) Like my mother I believe the lie that I must acquiesce and hide from the Truth of my Being, in order to gain LOVE.
3.) Like my mother I believe the lie that I must make others happy to make me happy.
4.) Like my father I believe the lie that what I don't see/feel does not exist.
5.) Like my father I believe the lie that I must keep all family secrets by lying.
6.) Like my father I believe the lie that I can hide my pain, my rage, my anger.
7.) Like my parents I believe the lie that if I had more money/love/possessions/sex that I would be truly happy.
8.) Like my parents I believe the lie that there is no unconditional Love. There is always a price.
9.) Like my parents I believe the lie that I am not perfect.
10.) Like my parents I believe the lie that my lies are Truth.
11.) Like my siblings I believe the lie that someone must always be dominant in a relationship.
12.) Like the church I believe the lie that I must be perfect and good in order to know God.

5.) Triangulations:
  Show at least 3 triangles with you in each of the three positions: Victim (V), Savior (S), and Persecutor (P). 

Triangulation Diagram 1 Triangulation Diagram 2 Triangulation Diagram 3

6.) Negative Love Patterns:
1.) My mother taught me - "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
2.) My mother taught me - "How dare you lie to me! Why do you always lie to me? How can I trust you when you always lie to me."
3.) My mother taught me - "You don't know what you're talking about. Don't you dare say that. That's not the truth."
4.) My mother taught me - "Why can't you be more like (someone else)?"
5.) My mother taught me - "You'll never get a spouse if you're not more attractive."
6.) My father taught me - "If you can't do it right, don't do it at all."
7.) My father taught me - "If you want it done right, you have to do it yourself."
8.) My father taught me - "Children should be seen and not heard."
9.) My father taught me - "I don't care what you think. What you think doesn't count."
10.) My father taught me - "If you just try hard enough, you can accomplish anything. Put your feelings aside and just do it."
11.) My parents taught me - "I know what's best for you."
12.) My parents taught me - "You don't feel that way. You have no reason to feel that way!"
13.) My parents taught me - "You should be ashamed of yourself."
14.) My parents taught me - "A good wife/husband should always do what her/his spouse wants."
15.) My parents taught me - "A good mother/father should always sacrifice her/himself for the children's sake."
16.) My church taught me - "Only God can save you."

c.) SOUL Perspective:

Symbols from Soul:

Images given from Soul are that of two hands on an oar, paddling a canoe. The canoe is in a swift, clear river. The river goes on endlessly. All is peaceful and clear - no worries, no thoughts, no effort, only the pure moment. The river drops down at the horizon. In this drop, the canoe disappears. The person in the canoe plunges into the water, becoming one with the water. There is no concern about breathing; breath is within the water. The water carries the person into a warm, dark underwater cave. The person curls into a fetal position. At peace, resting, floating. The person disappears. A undulating snake appears within the waters. The snake rises upward through the waters. As the snake reaches the top of the water, the surroundings become light and the snake changes into the person again, extending his/her arms, rising up, into the Light, into God.

The message from Soul is that the water/river represents Truth. Truth is clear energy. The vibration of Truth is high and has its own momentum. Like water, Truth is quiet and still and totally supportive. Like water, Truth is open, yet completely surrounds and supports.

The person in the image is you, or me, or all of us. We each paddle our canoe furiously, hoping to get away from our Truth. The sudden drop of the canoe brings us from the ego level into the journey to our Soul. We plunge into the depths of our Heart, returning to our Wisdom and Love. There, we become One with our Truth. At peace, resting, floating.

The snake is a symbol which represents the healing/transformation energy that brings us to our Truth. Like the snake, we shed the skin of our lies/illusions in order to transform, and grow closer to our Truth.

The snake rising from the water symbolizes our emergence into our Wholeness. The snake, reaching the top of the water (or the wholeness of our Truth), changes back into the person at the beginning of the vision, who then metamorphosizes into Light, into God.

As we reach our Truth, and are able to stand in the Truth of our Being, 24 hours a day, we, too, become One with God. God and Truth are One.

 

5.) Two Practices:
  I will stand in the Truth of my Being
a.) I will change the lie that I am not connected to my Soul into the Truth that communion with my Soul awaits 24 hours a day. In every situation, I will go into the Serene Center of my Being within my Heart, where Soul dwells. By doing so, I choose to have Soul, rather than ego, make my decisions.
b.) I will change the lie that it is okay for me to lie into the Truth that lying diminishes and shames me. Before I speak, I will stop, reference my Soul to find my Truth in that situation, and then speak this Truth.

 

6.) Do The Practices every day for one week: Yes ! Yes!

 

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Ego Negative Feelings
Positive Feelings Soul/Being
The Esoteric Teachings/God Thoughts Triangulation

 

 

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