Soul asked me to write down thoughts on behaviors that do not serve an individual. The person choosing and using such behaviors jealously defends these behaviors. These behaviors are part of the cloth from which the person is woven. To change, the person must re-weave him or herself. This process is a Conscious, rigorous undertaking. The process requires commitment and an ongoing agreement to do "whatever it takes". A complete listing of addictive behaviors is endless. It is as diverse as each person and as broad as humanity. Addictions include, but are not limited to:
An addict is one who is habitually and obsessively drawn to a certain behavior which gives him or her a "payoff". As long as this payoff fills a need, the addict will continue the pattern. It is no small wonder that a person finds it easy to keep an addiction. It is equally clear that most deny the depth, or even the existence of, a habit/addiction that continually sabotages his or her life. The payoff must be sufficiently enticing for a person to keep a negative behavior, especially when that activity causes harm to another or him/herself.
Our egos will downplay, deny, or glamorize the negative behavior rather than allow for change. Many pieces on these web sites speak of how to change a negative pattern. I offer yet another "take" on this.
We, humanity, often decide not to change. We stay addicted. We use these addictions to "exit". We use these addictions to go to sleep, even when a part of us wishes to Awaken. Our egos, being facile teachers, will use all four of our lower bodies, physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual, to exit, to go to sleep. Ego is invested in being in control, being in charge. Ego wants what it wants when it wants it. Ego pushes for keeping things its way. Ego goads us to hold on to our old addictive patterns. Ego motivates us to excel in our addictions.
If, or when, we move to change these patterns/addictions, we must first name what we want to change. Then we decide, or not, if we wish to change that which does not serve us, that which sabotages us. If the answer is "yes", then we can begin the Process of Change.
Understand that there is no requirement to give up our addictions. Ego is a master at lulling us to sleep. We use free will to stay asleep. Soul gives us every opportunity to begin the Awakening process. Say to free will, "I don't need you anymore". "I need God Will." "I am willing to surrender to God Will." "I am willing to do whatever it takes to Awaken." "Free will no longer serves me." "Only when I surrender free will to God Will shall I gain the freedom to move from my addictions."
What a paradox. We have always thought, "When I am able to choose (free will) I experience freedom". However, true freedom comes when God Will speaks through us: enlightening us, enriching us, guiding us.
My primary personal addiction has been one of perfection. I know this has been labeled psychologically as being obsessive/compulsive. Either way, it has limited my choices. Mom, and especially Dad, expected only perfection. I never lived up to their expectations, so I found myself going to any lengths to improve on "good". But good was not good enough. Therefore, I was not good enough. I was not enough. But my addiction to trying to get every thing "just so" kept me stuck. As a boss, I was a relentless taskmaster, expecting of others what I myself was unable to achieve. As a mother, my three children were relentlessly expected to be perfect. As a friend, I was unyielding and no fun to be around. I was not a joyful person. The sub-heading of this perfection addiction could also be labeled "control freak".
What changed this negative energy was doing The Work. The Work is outlined on two web sites: SoulOnLine and God Direct. Now I am aware of my perfectionism, but at one time this was not the case. I followed the steps to changing a negative feeling into Love, using the feeling of worthless as my feeling word to begin the process.
I now experience joy. I know this is a process. I will be given future opportunities to determine how my practice of worthiness is going. Now I have the tools to keep on the Awakening pathless path. Thank you, Soul. Thank you, ego. You are both my teachers.
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