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Rage Runs Me

I wake up
Fully prepared to embrace the day.
I am practicing being fully present in the world
From the moment I awaken.

 

Then an event, any event, pushes an old button.
Triggers feelings of anger… sadness. No, anger
deep at the core of the sadness.

 

All systems shut down.
My expansion contracts, like a balloon rapidly losing air.
My fullness becomes emptiness.
Rage eats away at me, leaks out of me.
It runs me. I have no control when it begins
to wind its insidious path down below the surface of my negative feelings.

 

I must face it or it will destroy me.
I avoid it.
I avoid all conflict.
I learned early on not to trust my feelings.
I am afraid that I may not be loved
if I express my feelings.

 

Feelings are not Love.
But it's all Love, all God.
My feelings. The rage. The Divine Set-Up which
helped me access the stealthy serpent of rage within me.
It's all a Divine Set-Up for me to learn Self-Love.

 

With clarity now, I face the rage head on.
See the demons which have run me.
Trace the threads back to my mother and father,
to their mothers and fathers, and their parents in turn.
Set myself free. Make another choice.

 

I'll do it this time.
Or it will eat away at my body.
Cancer, chronic illness,
it's already in my cells.
The rage within all of us.
The more I name it, feel it Consciously,
and choose to work with it in Consciousness,
the less it holds me.
I feel the feelings. I let them flow through me
without attachment.

 

I am not my feelings.
I am Love.
I Love myself through the Conscious act
of embracing and transforming the rage within.

 

 

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