"Excuse me, Sir."
"Is that you again, Moses?"
"I'm afraid it is, Sir."
"What is it this time, Moses. More computer
"How did You guess?"
"I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember?"
"Oh, yeah. I forgot."
"Tell me what you want, Moses."
"But You already know. Remember?"
"Well, go ahead, Moses. Spit it out!"
"Well, I have a question, Sir. You know
those ten things You sent me."
"You mean the Commandments, Moses?"
"That's it. I was wondering if they were
"What do you mean 'were important,' Moses?
Of course, they are important. Otherwise I wouldn't have sent
them to you."
"Well, sorry, but I lost them. I could
say the dog ate them, but of course You would see right through
"What do you mean 'you lost them'! Are
you trying to tell Me you didn't save them, Moses?"
"No, Sir. I forgot."
"Well, My Son always saves, Moses."
"Yeah, I know. You told me that before.
I was going to, but I forgot. I did send them to some people
before I lost them though."
"And did you hear back from any of them?"
"You already know I did. What about the
one guy who said he never uses 'shalt not?' Can he change the
words a little bit?"
"Yes, Moses. As long as he doesn't change
"And what about the guy who thought your
stance was a little harsh and recommended calling them the 'Ten
Suggestions' or letting people pick one or two to try for a while?"
"Moses, I'll act like I didn't hear that."
"I think that means, 'no.' Well, what
about the guy who said I was scamming him?"
"I think that is spamming, Moses."
"Oh, yeah. I e-mailed him back and told
him I don't even eat that stuff and I have no idea how you can
send it to someone through a computer."
"And what he did say?"
"You know what he said. He used Your
name in vain. You don't think he might have sent me one of those
plagues and that's the reason I lost those ten things, do You?"
"They're called viruses, Moses."
"Whatever! This computer stuff is just
too much for me. Can't we just go back to those stone tablets?
It was hard on my back taking them out and reading them each
day, but I never lost them."
"We'll do it the new way, Moses."
"I was afraid you would say that, Sir."
"Moses, what did I tell you to do if
you messed up?"
"You told me to hold up this rat and
stretch it out toward the computer."
"It's a mouse, Moses. Mouse! Mouse! And
did you do that?"
"No, I decided to try the Technical Support
first. After all, Who knows more about this stuff than You, and
I really like Your hours. By the way, Sir, did Noah have two
of these mice on the ark?"
"One other thing. Why didn't You name
them frogs instead of mice, because didn't You tell me the thing
they sit on is a pad?"
"I didn't name them, Moses. Man did,
and you can call yours a beatnik if you want to."
"Oh, that explains it. Kind of like Adam,
huh, Sir? I bet some woman told him to call it a mouse. After
all, wasn't it a woman who named one of the computers Apple?"
"Say "Goodnight", Moses."
"Wait a minute, Sir. I am stretching
out the mouse and it seems to be working. Yes, a couple of the
ten things have come back."
"Which ones are they, Moses?"
"Let's see. 'Thou shalt not steal from
any grave an image' and 'Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor's
"Turn the computer off, Moses. I'm sending
you another set of stone tablets. How does 'Same Day Air' sound?"