Here are some signs and notices written in
English that were discovered throughout the world. You have to
give the writers an 'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.
In a Tokyo hotel:
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Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If
you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis. |
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
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The lift is being fixed for the next day. During
that time we regret that you will be unbearable. |
In a Leipzig elevator:
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Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when
lit up. |
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
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To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.
If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press
a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically
by national order. |
In a hotel in Athens:
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Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. |
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
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The flattening of underwear with pleasure is
the job of the chambermaid. |
In a Japanese hotel:
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You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. |
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from
a Russian Orthodox monastery:
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You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous
Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried
daily except Thursday. |
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
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Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours
of repose in the boots of ascension. |
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
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Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. |
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
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Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup
with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let
loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion. |
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
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Ladies may have a fit upstairs. |
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
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Drop your trousers here for best results. |
Outside a Paris dress shop:
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Dresses for street walking. |
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
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Order your summers suit. Because is big rush
we will execute customers in strict rotation. |
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
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It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest
camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men
and women, live together in one tent unless they are married
with each other for that purpose. |
In a Zurich hotel:
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Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests
of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the
lobby be used for this purpose. |
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
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Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. |
In a Rome laundry:
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Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
afternoon having a good time. |
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
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Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we
guarantee no miscarriages. |
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
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Would you like to ride on your own ass? |
In a Swiss mountain inn:
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Special today -- no ice cream. |
In a Bangkok temple:
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It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner
if dressed as a man. |
In a Tokyo bar:
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Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts. |
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
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We take your bags and send them in all directions. |
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
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If this is your first visit to the USSR, you
are welcome to it. |
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
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Ladies are requested not to have children in
the bar. |
In a Budapest zoo:
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Please do not feed the animals. If you have any
suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. |
In the office of a Roman doctor:
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Specialist in women and other diseases. |
In an Acapulco hotel:
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The manager has personally passed all the water
served here. |
In a Tokyo shop:
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Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll
find they are best in the long run. |
From a Japanese information booklet about
using a hotel air conditioner:
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Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition
of warm in your room, please control yourself. |
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
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When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle
the horn.
Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your
passage then tootle him with vigor. |
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
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English well talking.
Here speeching American. |
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